Tonight, well this morning, I sit in my room with a heart of grateful praise. I know, it does sound a bit cheesy and slightly over stated, but I am just so amazed at how I’ve been growing these past few weeks. It’s like the Lord and I hit our sweet spot of dependence. Well, I guess i’m the dependent one.
It was only two months ago that I packed up the passat and headed south. I was so so sad. My heart heavy and the longings of my heart were, I felt, being left. Foolishness really. I left with out much of a plan. A plan drawn out on a napkin at Chilis kind of plan. I wasn’t too secure in the out come I just knew i was to go. So I headed to San Diego with a nervous but expectant heart.
What I’ve come to find here has been so much more than I could have imagined. I have come to a new place of thankfulness for both the trial and the joy. I’ve come to a place of contentment in the unknown and I’ve come to a place of embracing mystery… even the mystery found in foolish things. I was foolish to move to San Diego. The Lord met me in my foolishness… actually led me to my foolishness and now I find myself in this goofy place of the now and the not yet.
I have a love hate relationship with the concept of the now and the not yet. It’s part of the journey with God. You instantly have a new identity, the old has gone the new has come… and yet there is still a working out… the not yet…. an expectant faith of things to come.
The now gives me confidence in today and the not yet gives me hope for the todays to come.
So i sit here… with a goofy smile, an expectant heart and quiet spirit know that the Lord is so good and His love endures forever and His goodness… oh man, it’s brighter than the noon day sun. I love this place… the calm of sitting with my Abba….