He lied to me again!

Recently I’ve felt like a fake. Do you ever feel that way? Am I really who I think I am or have I created a persona that isn’t real? Have I invented the me I think I should be, rather than simply being the me I am?

Ironically, I don’t know that I’ve ever been more truly me. If I’m honest I’ve grown into me over the past few years. And now as I step out into new projects, risking to take hold and live out dreams, take steps of faith into the unknown and simply risk to follow the lead of Jesus, I question if I’ve just made me up.

It seems in my life’s story that as I step more fully into my self, the more I have thoughts thrown at me that I’m not who I think I am. This I believe is because my true self has an enemy. That enemy seeks to kill, steal and destroy. He wants me to not believe I’m capable, creative, loving, generous, in love with Jesus, a lover of people and so on. He wants me to think I’m insecure, too much, or incapable.

The lies themselves don’t coincide. They actually contradict each other. I can in one moment think I have nothing to offer and the very next think I’m too much and by simply existing I out shine people and hurt them so I need to hide. It is a game. I hide or I don’t measure up. The enemy is crafty. He knows how to get people to believe the most painful things. He can plant a thought that will stop people right in their tracks so they give up on a dream, or hold back their gifting. It is in this space where we must fight. We must fight to believe the truth, fight to hold onto the image we were given at conception and walk with boldness into each day.

Today the battle is being fought in my mind and the truth will win. I believe it will, I have to. And, it is a battle. I must fight for truth for truth has so many enemies. There are times when I have to invite others to fight with me for that truth. But we must never give up or give in, the enemy will not have me… it must not have you. Can  you identify the enemy’s voice seeking to kill, steal and destroy you?

When do you find a voice that lies to you? Do you recognize the lies as such? Do you believe that a lie has greater value than the truth?

Seek to listen to the truth and then hold tight to it!

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One thought on “He lied to me again!

  1. Oh, dear one — fighting with you! I feel it too, all the time. The other day someone wrote about me that the more he talks to me the more he wonders if he’s even a Christian. That’s ridiculous, of course — but it makes me want to “tone it down,” and at the same time I know what a flawed, screwed-up person I am and I feel I need to “ramp it up.” Let’s just be, and let the chips fall. The personas we create have no place in anything Jesus is, teaches or expects. Oh, how he loves us! Let’s shine!

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