Living as a daughter is harder than it looks

I grew up in Omaha, Nebraska. I was a fairly normal child. Well, normal if you think a 7 year old hosting a vacation bible school with her sisters who were 8, and 10 is normal. I loved being a girl, singing at the top of my lungs, playing and encouraging my stuffed animals, playing in the dirt and joining my friends for games spanning the block on which we lived. I was loved by my family and friends and I never questioned my value or my identity. I was a daughter and I loved being such.

A daughter is one who understands her identity as a child of God. She is one who does not need to prove or hide herself. She simply knows that she belonged to the King and it is good.

Yes, being a daughter was good, but it did not last. A good friend was over to spend the night. I was 10. We played as girls do and laughed together. Then it happened. She said just a few words that changed it all for me. She said, “Cari, you’re the fattest ugliest person I’ve ever known and I don’t want to be your friend any longer.” That day she ceased being my friend and I lost my perspective as a daughter.

That day two things happened for me. 1. I believed that I was choosable and lovable if and only if I was beautiful and skinny and 2. I believed that the opinion of others was significant.

It was there I took on two new personas. I became a slave and an orphan. A slave has the perspective that if I do enough for you and work really hard, you’ll keep me around. An orphan has the perspective that I am not valued and therefore I need to remain unseen. It also holds the thought that I need to hide or pretend because if you see the real me you’ll not want me any longer.

Daughter, Slaves and Orphans. Three perspectives that guide the way we live, make decisions and treat ourselves and those around us.

Do you see yourself as a daughter? or a son? Do you you work to earn your keep or hide the real you in hopes to remain valued in the eyes of others?

What are your thoughts?

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2 thoughts on “Living as a daughter is harder than it looks

  1. Seems to me that this is the cycle of fall and redemption. Every one of us forgets at some point who we are (some believe this is at birth or even before), and the great Good News is that we can be restored to being sons and daughters! It takes a lifetime, but one day we’ll be fully realized as children of the King. And there’s lots of good places between here and there (as my earthly dad used to say).

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