The space between endings and beginnings is difficult. I know this from personal experience. I also have learned that much of my good habits go out the door when I am in the transition space. I’ve come to realize that I care well for self in the midst of rhythm and order. I do not care well for myself in the midst of chaos.
The catch is, much of life is chaos. Life isn’t stagnant, calm, collected and orderly all of the time. In fact, when we seek to keep life this way in the midst of movement we end up fighting the natural flow, making life quite difficult.
I am learning that the sacred rhythms of my life are challenged by surprises. This has proved difficult the past year. Just over a year ago I ran a marathon. I was able to train, create space for activity and be disciplined. This led to discipline in many areas. My life had a rhythm to it and it was sacred.
Once the rhythm of the training was gone I was hit by a few road bumps. My workout partner moved, I went through a dark night of the soul, I began to feel the movement of the Spirit calling me to look forward and seek what was next. Soon all of the comfort of daily order was thrown up in the air and since that time, instead of practicing disciplines of rhythm, I’ve instead stood still walking up stream, fighting the chaos instead of flowing with it.
I think chaos is simply life in motion and that if we are to find order it’s best we find a boat in which we can ride the waves of life’s fast flowing, ever changing stream. It is in that place that we are able to rise above the chaos and find our own order.
Even as I write I fight the desire to create a system to make it through the chaos or to get out of it. I not longer believe we are to escape chaos, but instead we are to redeem it.
I moved to Colorado just over a month ago and it has been nothing but chaos and I’ve fought it tooth and nail, often ending up paralyzed by my inability to create order. I’m learning that sacred rhythms and order are those things that we find to engage chaos and redeem it.
So I’ve purchased a boat and am ready to let loose on the river of chaos. We’ll see where it takes me and how redemption will be experienced along the way.