Waking, faking, stale, fighting, sleeping

Today started with my normal greeting to Jesus. “Good morning Jesus, I love you so much, thanks for giving me today.” I wanted to roll over and fall back asleep. It’s getting colder here in Colorado and the weather forecast predicts snow yet again. I, being a transplant from southern California, have not adjusted well to the idea of snow. I did not fall back asleep, I instead grabbed the first technological device I could find and read the daily My Upmost for His Highest, seeking a little inspiration for my day from my good friend Oswald. I didn’t connect with his words, I didn’t feel comfy in relationship with Jesus and before I even got out of bed I wondered if I was a fake.

Do I really love Jesus and connect with Him?

Am I really thankful for another day?

I’m an optimist by nature, but lately I’ve found myself not connecting with Jesus in my normal optimistic way. So, I wake up and say hi to Jesus, cause He’s with me, but it feels like a stale marriage. The kind of marriage where one wakes up to their spouse daily and find they’ve lost the wonder of the love relationship.

It is in this stage I’ve seen many marriages fall apart, or even surrender to stale and settle for a life less than beautiful. I’ve also seen couples fight when things get stale.

I want to be a fighter. I am a fighter.

I am not going to give up on Jesus because I woke up to dreary, rather than wonder.

I am not going to stop giving thanks because I can not see things early in the morning for which to be thankful.

I will choose to roll out of bed, put on a pair of slippers and face the cold, knowing that I’ll find warmth.

I will choose to believe that Jesus meant what He said when He said He’s awaiting to be invited into my life daily. And to top it off, He’ll come in and sit with me, eat with me, commune with me.

So, Oswald you may have not inspired me by your ideas today. And Jesus, maybe I didn’t roll over into the comfort of your felt presence, but I choose to love you today. I love that you’re still with me and that today, at some point, I will eat with you and you with me and maybe, just maybe I will crawl into bed tonight and as I say good-night to my Jesus, I’ll feel a little bit closer.

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