I love to sing. I sing medleys to friends on the phone for their birthdays and various holidays. I sometimes harken old hymns, singing Jesus medleys or I’ll commemorate important events by singing a medley to remember. When Michael Jackson died, I called up my friend Cathryn and sang her a MJ medley. So naturally as I attempt to make friends with myself, I’ve tried to think of songs I can sing to help with the process. (Some people talk to themselves, I aparently sing to myself.)
A song popped into my mind as I asked me, “Cari what do you like?” I began to bob my head back and forth as my mind sang the song My Favorite Things from The Sound of Music. Are you singing it yet? (This might help: My Favorite Things)
My conversation went a little like this:
Me: Hi Cari
Cari: Hi self
Me: I hear we’re supposed to know each other and become friends
Cari: Nice, I really like new friends, but I kinda know you already
Me: Yes, you know a lot about me, we’ve been with each other a long time. But for the life of me I can’t remember the last time we did anything you liked to do. Do you even know what you like?
Cari: I really like people. So anything with people is great. I’m always happy with that
Me: Well, yeah, you do like people. But what do you like to do?
Cari: I already told you, I like to do things with people! Weren’t you listening
Me: Back down, I just don’t think that is the answer I’m looking for.
Cari: So you have an answer you’re looking for? I didn’t know there was a right or wrong.
Me: I want to know about you. You wanting to be with people speaks to the fact that you’ve given so much of you away that you don’t even know how to answer the question without involving other people.
Me: It’s just I think you should know something you like that doesn’t involve another soul. What if you had unlimited resources, what then, what would you like to do, what would you like?
Cari: So no people, just me. I get to just think about me and it’s not selfish or worldly?
Cari: I think I’d want to go to Alaska and see the Orcas, a cooking tour through Italy, a Christmas in Vienna, I’d buy a big house in country and have a barn to host events, (oops that involved people) I’d have fresh flowers every day, I’d go to musicals, concerts or a lecture every week, I think I’d want to learn how to take pictures, paint, OH I’d take a dance class. I’d live in New York, LA, the countryside or Spain or Italy for a year. I think I’d like to go on a date. Have a really big craft/artist studio with lots of light. I’d want to laugh, create and be surrounded by color. I love color. I love beauty. I love a good story. I like red meat. I like swimming and water. I like big earrings and clothes that make me feel like an art project and woman. I like sitting on the beach. I like the idea of gardens. I like Portland in the summer. I like front porches. I like cooking. I like creating beautiful things. I like trees, the color red, the sound of thunder, fireflies, Owl City, old Amy Grant, horrible jokes, the time of night when the single color blue is found in a million shades fading from light to dark at twilight. I like eating outside. I like tables. I like Nantucket (or at least I think I do). I like to smile. I like…. Am I getting it?
Cari: Am I answering the question?
Me: Yeah, sorry I was dreaming. We like a lot of the same things you and I. I’d love to do those things with you. Why haven’t we?
Cari: I don’t know. They seem frivolous and selfish I guess
Me: They do, but they scare me a bit. Why does beauty frighten us?
This is where the conversation ended. My favorite things? Why do they frighten me?
What are your favorite things? How would the conversation go if you were talking with yourself? Try it out and write a few things below. There are many more conversations to be had.