Since Sunday I’ve had belief on my mind. It is something that in some moments is so incredibly easy but today, well, trust is more of a moment by moment choice. When I chose to follow Jesus over 30 years ago I knew that He loved me. I have spent years in that love. I continue to believe that this is a truth. I know that Jesus loves me. I know that he desires what is best for me. I know that he will bring good into my life.
This week has felt a little more like Jesus was in the job of taking things away. I find myself at a crossroads. I prayed Sunday that my faith would be increased and my belief deepened, 30 minutes later my car began experiencing problems which ended up not being able to be repaired. I ended up having to sell my car for parts in Utah, 8 hours from home and 8 hours from my destination.
I was rescued by a good friend on Tuesday and Wednesday I woke up sick. Today held a few surprises. My computer stopped working and there were some things I was investing in that ended up not turning out as planned. Man, disappointment.
Tonight I was driving to a friend’s house and suddenly the week’s happenings hit me all at once. I began to cry. The words of the past days blogs ran through my mind and I found my own words convicting me. Encouraging me.
It’s a strange thing to live in this world where good can taste bad and bad can taste so good. It is a good thing that we serve a God who knows the difference.
So tonight I’m choosing to be thankful for my week. I’ll cry a little and then pause and thank God for another opportunity to trust. I’ll feel a wave of emotion and then breathe in the words of verses I’ve read this week. Be thankful in all circumstance. Give thanks continually. God is my refuge. God is good, he is faithful, his love endures forever. Truth.
Truth. Gratitude. Praise. Belief.
I know I’m not the only one who faces trials of many kinds. I know that every person who will read this blog will relate in some way. We all go through times that don’t seem to feel good or match our idea of what is best for us. But when we go through these times it is important to remember that God does not change, even when our circumstances do. God does not cease to be good, though our days are filled with difficulty. God does not abandon us, even when we do not feel his presence. God does not enjoy our suffering, but he does not keep suffering from us, for he knows that suffering is often for our good.
Today I once again choose to trust. I choose to believe. I choose to lean into the faith I have and know that the God I serve is using even these trials to bring about good, not only for me, but for those around me.
Trust and belief are choices. They don’t just happen. When is the last time you experienced a time when you chose to trust, against all logical knowledge? How did your trust increase your hope?