Today I’ve had several encounters with the begrudged singlite. I get it. I’m 38 and single and I understand how this day can bring up feelings of loneliness or dissatisfaction with one’s relationship status. But I wonder if we’re missing something. Might there be more?
I’ve also talked with friends who’s loved one isn’t quite making the cut. The grand gestures expected on this day at times can be larger than what any one person can offer. Perhaps a new boyfriend didn’t quite make the cut or a wife forgot Valentines greetings, gifts and gestures all together. But again, I’m left wondering, is there more?
A few years ago a friend asked me if Valentines day was painful to me. I beamed and said, “No, why should it be?” You see when one makes this day, or any other day about them self, its pretty near impossible to come out unscathed. We each hold unspoken expectations, desires and wishes… especially when it comes to love. So I made a choice. I decided that Valentines day was not going to be about me, but it was going to be about how I could love well, with extravagance, those around me. Since I made that shift I have loved Valentines day. I love everything about it. I love that I’m able to cheesily greet people and show love. I’m able to buy silly cards and deliver them. Over the years I’ve done various things to celebrate this day.
I’ve learned that when my focus is removed from self and what I need and I shift that focus to look for how I might be able to bless, show and give love, and encourage others that I find such joy. I think the more that there is to this holiday and well… any day is found when we seek to love more than be loved, when we seek to understand more than we seek to be understood, when we give more often than we’re given to.
So if you’re struggling today. If your heart is sad. If you feel forgotten, disappointed, unwanted, take a moment to reframe your view. Take a step back and ask how you might give the love you want to receive and see what happens.