I went to Chipolte for lunch today. This is not new. But, today my order consisted of something unfamiliar. I ordered tofu. Let’s be honest, the fact that I ordered tofu is not blog worthy and quite frankly I feel a little funny starting off with content few would consider Facebook status worthy. But, my lunch order is an indication of something larger, something deeper and something much more significant.
Just over 6 months ago a mentor challenged me with an idea. After having asked when I felt anxiety last and hearing my answer he replied to me with the following words of truth, “Cari! You are not a victim. To anything. Ever. You are not a victim to your past. You are not a victim to your present. You are not a victim to anyone’s thought of you and you are not a victim to your circumstances. You are an overcomer. As a child of God you have authority to overcome. Children are victims, adults are overcomes and it is time you become an adult in all areas of your faith.” I had been called out. I had been called to leave my childish ways and to step into the truth and live out of the truth of an identity which, too often feels too good to be true.
I am an overcomer.
I got off the phone, feeling as though truth had just punched me in the stomach and simultaneously held me. I immediately knew two areas in my life where I had lived as a victim. Anger grew towards my accuser. That same anger lessened as I took a step into my authority as a child of God. I was, I am, a daughter of a good King. I am a member of a royal priesthood. I am a person belonging to God. These words penetrated my heart and the barrier that I had built around it over years of being held captive by the enemy of light and life.
With authority I said aloud, “NO MORE! I’m finished!!! You no longer win.” Words continued to pour out as if I were speaking to the perpetrator of a crime, a great enemy who had held me captive over years of time.
Who was this perpetrator? Who was this great enemy?
Sadly, this powerful being, was no more than an inanimate object. An object which I believed I had no power over and from which I believed, I’d never be free.
I had made myself a victim to food and to the way I was brought up around it. I had also made myself a victim to a belief that I was not capable of being an athlete. My victimhood was evidenced in my life as I was filled with excuses, blame and hiding. We’ve all been there. The words I can’t, I’ll never, there’s no way, I wasn’t taught, but I was taught this, but this happened to me, but this is how I was treated, but… if only… I never… and the like were common words in my personal vocabulary. And, I was finished.
In the weeks and months following, I lived more fully into my identity as a daughter of a good King. I continued to live as an overcomer. I was no longer a victim to food. I was no longer a victim to a belief that I could not do this or that. Over time, my body, which once held proof of victimhood, was showing signs of a new belief.
Yes, it is said, our sins will find us out. The converse is also true. Our faithfulness will find us out. My body is evidence of this truth.
Back to tofu.
Today, I ate tofu, in a salad, because I wanted to eat tofu. The woman taking my order didn’t know, the people around me had no idea, but they were witness to a miracle, brought on by a change of belief. The old has gone and the new has come and my lunch was evidence of the fact.
To what have you made yourself a victim? From what do you need to be set free? Take a moment. Get out your journal. Go for a walk. Yell at the top of your lungs. Sit in silence and tears. Allow the Spirit to reveal to you that under which you’ve placed yourself. To what belief, occurrence, idea, word, abuse, or shame have you placed yourself as victim? Confess this, and ask the God who is good, who is your Father, to reveal to you, your identity as HIS.
As you allow the power of your truest identity, as a child of God, an overcomer, a member of a royal bloodline, to fall on you and seep into your very core; pay close attention. You too may find yourself eating tofu in 6 or so months.