I am going to give a brief update on this experiment. It has been quite the ride. Giving up pretending and speaking my truth has been one of the most impactful experiences I’ve had. As a result of giving up pretending I’ve grown to see how:
1. I with hold my truth for the sake of another’s comfort.
2. I protect myself from pain and discomfort.
3. I selfishly with hold my own needs, thinking it’s actually what is best, instead of being honest with my needs and allowing others to enter that space with me.
4. I am prideful about my ability to be a part of other’s stories and can hide in being needed.
5. I often talk around things instead of speaking plainly. I can hide in language that sounds intelligent and grounded, even as I search.
6. I have hid from my own unmet desires and am becoming open to the tension of speaking desire even if it brings up unwanted feelings.
7. I have experienced the pain of rejection and was not overcome by it.
8. Pretending is natural and even though I’ve always thought of myself as an authentic person, intentionally choosing to NOT pretend has allowed me to see how often I’m tempted to present a more put together front. I am thankful for the mess of my humanity and how that humanity invites relationship instead of pushes others away. It is good.
9. I feel freedom and have increased my ability to speak the truth even at the expense of comfort! (this is a BIG deal for me)
10. I’ve also seen how my ability to bring truth, invites truth from others.
I am thankful.
Easter is coming and I have grown and continue to grow as I offer my truth to you and to those in my life.