Days 35 and 36 of truth telling: Sunny days and leading ladies

IMG_8399Yesterday was a long day. It was nice out side and so instead of meeting people in doors I ventured out for walks. It was a huge gift to my mood and my general state of being. I got time with some of my favorite people and I was able to swim too. I was thankful. I like days where I am able to move, work in my skill set and bless others. I also got to sit and listen to my friend Elizabeth play a home show and was washed over by her lyrics and voice. She is a powerful lyricist. I went to bed thankful

I like days where I’m able to hold the reality of today and the joys of belonging to Jesus simultaneously.

And my truth for day 36:

Well I recently watched The Holiday. Nearly every woman I know loves this movie. There is a line in the movie that stuck out. While talking with a young single woman who has played the role as best friend alongside a man with whom she’s in love, an older man and screenwriter says, “there are two kinds of women, the leading lady and the best friend… and you are a leading lady.” The leading lady is more difficult role to play. It is honest, she has gumption and is a little feisty. The leading lady doesn’t question her value awkwardly and constantly makes others comfortable. She stands out, knows and fights for her value and risks.

I used to live as though I was the best friend. Always.

I’ve recently made a stream of decisions that have been leading lady decisions. I have treated myself with value and have been honest instead of making the other comfortable.

The truth is, when we act, well… when I act like a leading lady, I’m valuing myself and others with greater honesty and it is good for everyone.

This experiment in not pretending is leading to a way of living that has awakened me to the reality that playing the leading role of Cari Jenkins in the film of my life, is a leading role and I get to make choices to live in that place. I am thankful.

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