Every one of us has a secret. It is the secret that sits in the back of our minds that we are sure will be found out. It is the thing that haunts us. The thing that we know for certainty will lead to relational disconnection. It is the secret that holds our unacceptability.
In my life I hear secrets almost every day. I hear the secrets of the broken hearted. I hear the secret of the abuse victim. I hear the secrets of the successful and the secrets of the captive. I hear the secrets of those who struggle with matters of sexuality, faith, belief and unbelief. Every secret told, is told with a wince… will you still love me, will we still be connected when I tell you my secret?
The ironic thing about our secrets is that though they are unique to each individual, there is nothing unique about their message. For every person, holding a secret, the message is that this secret is the key to retaining my value, my relationships, my reputation, and my love.
This is not uncommon, in fact King David of ancient Israel knew a thing or two about secrets. In his poem found in Psalm 32 he writes: When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity, I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.” and you forgave the guilt of my sin…
Though David was talking about confessing sin, he caught the essence of what happens when secrets are held. A secret winds its way into our core and there it begins to rot away that which is good and true and replaces it with lies. Our secrets are like a cancer eating away at life. Though we believe the exact opposite. Some how, we’ve convinced ourselves that as long as we hide, we’ll know love.
Reflecting on Robin Williams’ death and the fact that his secret led him to escape life, evokes in me a strong desire for every one of us to have a place to tell our secrets. I desire for each and every one of us to have a place where we are free, with our secrets and are met with life, love and relationship. It is my desire that whether it is sadness or success that there is not one person who feels as though their secret is too much for another to hear and be with.
Scripture is filled with encouragement to share life with others. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, tow can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.
Paul writes in Romans 12: 10-15 says Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
Jesus sent his disciples out in pairs.
Pages of story set in the canvas of relationship; first relationship to God and secondly relationship with one another. It is in relationship, true, pure, unhidden, no secrets kept relationship that we are able to know how to once again be naked an unashamed.
May your secrets be told to a trusted friend.
May your life know the connection found in naked friendship.
May you know that there is absolutely no secret that can make Jesus love you more or less. For you are His and HE knows your secret and cries, rejoices with and loves you.
Breathe out your secrets. Come out of hiding. Rid yourself of the cancer found in silence and be free.