The Thing Within


Today I watched two movies. Two! That is ridiculous for a woman who has very little time on her hands. But, I am preparing for a weekend retreat at which I will be speaking and found myself in need of visuals to inspire me to think and organize and layout my thoughts.

My mind is a mysterious thing. It keeps dots and pieces and pictures and verses and experiences all jammed up until at once they are released to become a complete and slightly organized thought. And at times, that thought needs to be inspired out of me. This was the case today.

I watched Finding Neverland and August Rush. Both movies are about creativity, storytelling, art and the healing found in the art itself.

I thought to myself, somewhere inside of J. M. Barrie was a land that had to make its way on to the pages of a play for all the world to see. And, somewhere inside of August Rush, laid a piece of music so incredibly beautiful it simply had to come out. I think the same thing when I think of Handel’s Messiah, which he wrote in 14 days, or even Disneyland inside of Walt Disney or an incredible bruccetia by Julia Child. These thoughts caused emotion to rise up with in me as I watched the final scene of August Rush. His masterpiece was being played and life came to order.

A few weeks ago A friend and I threw a dinner party for 40 people. The two of us invited the group together. We gathered them for many reasons. As I was setting the table I prayed over every part. “Lord please let me not get in the way.” “Lord please let me hear you!” “Lord is it frivolous that I want to put this table together?” The questions came with great force and loud noise. Then, among the noise, was a whisper, so soft that its sound was boisterous in my mind. “Cari, you have a table within you. Set that table. I will do my part, you create what is within you.”

I let go of my questions and worry and I set the table. As did He.

Every single thing I wanted to communicate and much more was communicated that evening. Every connection I had schemed in my mind was made, and more. Every ounce of good to be experienced, exceeded. Every thing… and then some.

I can make such a big deal about things. I think and over think. I want everything to be purposeful and have great depth and this… well, it often keeps me from creating what’s inside. “A table isn’t that profound.” I’d think to myself. And then, I see the table express the goodness of God and I’m overwhelmed.

Every person I know has a dream, has something inside of them that they just want to do, or see or experience. At the very least, I know that most people have a person they’d love to meet, a concert they love to attend or mountain for some reason they simply must climb. These things are important. They have been placed within you and me. These things that we just simply must accomplish, see, hear, meet and so on are not accidental or frivolous. And yet, these things are the things that most often get shoved aside as not weighted or less valuable.

As I finished watching these movies today, I wondered what would happen if the writers and creative directors and actors would have thought to themselves that their vision was not important enough to be given time or energy. What if Handel had not penned The Messiah because it was just music? What if Van Gough didn’t paint because it was only art? What if Robin Williams would have never played a role because it was only acting? What if Paul had never written a letter because it held only reminders? What if he had never encouraged anyone, because it wasn’t a completely new thought?

In September I was given a table that I simply had to set and I did and honestly eternity was experienced on the lawn that evening and perhaps changed.

What is within you? What is that thing that you just simply must do? What is the play you must see? The role you must play? The letter you must write? Oh my friend, it is time, use your gift, create and watch as you play your role and God… well, He plays His and maybe, just maybe you’ll taste eternity too.

2 thoughts on “The Thing Within

  1. Oh friend, you are so beautiful! I want to hear all about this dinner and I’d love to learn how to create my own. Love love love you!!

  2. Love you friend. Wish is was closer to sit at your table all the time. But I am glad we had a time in our life where we were able to sit together. Love you and miss you. Thank you for your beautiful words and inspiration. Xoxo

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