I woke up hurried today. Though I have given up noise for Lent, wanting instead to fill my mornings with words of meaning and substance, this particular morning, noise was calling me. I have started and stopped, written, erased and rewritten a number of times, as I have been distracted by the demands of my day, the noise of social media, and the noise in my own head.
I am distracted.
When spending time with Jesus, there seems to be a certain shame that I can experience when I get distracted . It is almost as though, at times, I come to Jesus out of obligation and when I get distracted I then feel I am not doing my part well enough. As I have been distracted this morning, my initial response was something like, “you aren’t performing Lent right!” Subsequently, I’d start ordering myself around as though I was the wicked orphan caregiver in ‘Annie’.
Though at first remarkably irritating, my distraction was helpful. It revealed to me that the practice, meant to draw me nearer to Jesus, has instead become a way performing for Him.
My distraction revealed the attitude of my heart. I was seeking Jesus’ approval as an orphan seeks the approval of those who care for her, simply wanting to be chosen, seen and loved, rather than as a child who is already chosen, seen and loved, by a gloriously wonderful Father.
I am not an orphan.
My distraction has led me to pause. My pause gave room for Jesus to speak. The room, revealed the position of my heart towards Jesus. Seeing my heart attitude, led me to confess that I was believing I was an orphan. My confession led me to repentance, turning from one belief and again face Jesus. And, when I paused to look at Jesus, I received His love, grace and kindness for me.
It is now nearly 2 hours later and I am just finishing the post. But, I am glad I got distracted, for it led me back to Jesus.
Today’s Practice is: Pause
When you get distracted as you spend time with Jesus today, or really at any time throughout your day, PAUSE and ask yourself what your distraction is wanting to tell you. Let your distraction then lead you to Jesus.
Listen: Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus
Pray: Father may my distraction lead me to see, hear and be with you. Take my thoughts and turn them to you. Cause my heart to pause and receive from you, what you want to speak in to the distractions of my mind. May you lead me to your heart as I pause throughout the day. Amen