The quiet person at the table

img_6406.jpegIt’s cold, it feels more like a foggy day in London, rather than a day on the Mediterranean. I smell smoke coming from smoke stacks of neighboring homes, I hear the waves as they crash against the shore line. There is a calm here. The tiny community of Altea is bustling during the summer, when I’ve visited before. But today, it is sleepy. It is filled with the regular lives of its residents rather than the excitement of those who call it home only on their holidays.

I woke up this morning, thinking it was time to be awake. It was 6a.m. and I naturally had risen from my nights slumber. I unpacked, organized, drank a protein shake, took my vitamins and decided I need to lay down one more time. I tucked myself in my warm bed, a stark contrast from the cold home I am in, and closed my eyes. They did not open again until nearly 4pm. I think I was still tired.

In those short moments of being awake I thought, “what have I done?” I am far away from all I know. I have friends going through things back home that I am not there to be with, there are events back home I want to partake in and there was nothing to distract me from… me.

Life can be full of noise. And though the noise may be good, it is still noise, and I needed a break to hear myself and to connect with Jesus again. And, the thought of both things sent tears straight for my tear ducks until they peaked out and took a nosedive down my cheeks. I am curious what will come of the noise? What will the tears lead me to? What are the things in my heart that have been begging to be heard but, like a quiet person at a table with loud storytellers, they’ve had not had room to speak.

The next few weeks of life I am going to listen to the quiet person at the table and see what her wisdom will have to say.

I look forward to sharing bits along the way.

The questions I would like to leave with you today my friends is this, What is the quiet person at the table of your life wanting to say to you? Does she have room to speak? What gets in the way of you listening?



3 thoughts on “The quiet person at the table

  1. Nicely expressed…happy hunting!

    This is one of my guides to my own tears:

    Windows of the Soul
    by Ken Gire

    Windows of Tears

    “Whenever you find tears in your eyes, especially
    unexpected tears, it is well to pay the closest
    attention. They are not only telling you something
    about the secret of who you are,
    but more often than not God is speaking to
    you through them of the mystery of where you have
    come from and is summoning you to where, if your
    soul is to be saved, you should go next.”
    Whistling in the Dark

    Perhaps there are not greater windows of the soul than our tears. The tears we cry are drawn from the well of who we are, a well that lies beneath the sedimentary strata of words, beneath even the Precambrian layer of consciousness itself. They may seep to the surface like the smallest of subterranean springs or shoot to the surface like a geyser. They surface for odd reasons, or for no reason at all, or for reasons so pure and right and good that no force on earth could hold them back.

    I think of tears I have cried over the years, and by pooling them into one place, I can see rippling in it a reflection of myself. I’m not talking about the kinds of tears that come with a skinned knee from falling off your childhood bike. I’m talking about tears that come from a different place than that, a place you can’t put your finger on but somehow manages to put one on you.

    Each of those tearful moments is a window. In each of those windows is something that not only sanctifies the moment but transcends the moment. In each tear is distilled something of eternity, something of love and compassion and tenderness, all things that originate in heaven and come to earth as a sacrament to my soul, if only I am willing to take and eat.

    The closest communion with God comes, I believe, through the sacrament of tears. Just as grapes are crushed to make wine and grain to make bread, so the elements of this sacrament come from the crushing experiences of life.
    …….and sometimes the crushing starts early….
    Like the dark woods of a fairy tale, life too has its dark side. And somewhere down the road, if we travel long enough down that road, we will experience it. Who knows what woods that road will take us through or what frightening things may be crouching in their shadows?

    In Dante’s Inferno, the writer is taking a walk and suddenly finds himself disoriented, and so begins his journey into the various levels of hell with these words: In the middle of the journey of our life, I found myself in a dark wood.

    So much is distilled in our tears, not the least of which is wisdom in living life. From my own tears I have learned that if you follow your tears, you will find your heart. If you find your heart, you will find what is dear to God. And if you find what is dear to God, you will find the answer to how you should live your life.

  2. I love this image so much, Cari. I can so often feel like the “quiet person at the table” in life, but I am wondering now about who that voice might be in my own heart. Look forward to hearing more from your journey.

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